5 disgusting items of clothing that I wish were non-existent

Like I have said before, everyone is entitled to wear what they want. However, I am also entitled to having bitchy opinions on clothes that give me the heeby jeebies. If I offend any of you then that means you like an item from below. In that case, leave and never come back or I shall have no other choice but to call the fashion police. With some help from my beautiful assistant, Rubi, we have put together a list of the most horrific items of clothing we can find. So, without further adue, let's put them to shame!


1. Trainer heels

Excuse me while I be sick, eat it, then be sick again. Apart from walking across hot-coals, these will never be appropriate. If you wear these I'm going to go ahead and assume that your favourite artist is Dappy, your hair is red and you will probably love the next item. The only time they would look appealing is with one eye squinted with a paper bag over your head in a dark cave.

2. Red leopard print

Other than loving Dappy, you probably also love getting in to cars with boys named 'Brummy Pete' after strutting down the high-street with your Paul's Boutique handbag and foundation-smothered lips. I am imagining the item to be leggings but whether they're leggings, a top or god forbid a pair of trainer heels, the only word that springs to mind is tacky.

3. Whatever the fuck these are

If you wear these, please let me know now so that I can file a restraining order against you. According to www.fakewebsite.com, looking at these for too long causes alopecia and blue waffle. For some strange reason, Nike - a leading brand in sportswear, always seem to create shoes that are either a hit or a miss (mostly a miss, in my opinion). Whether they were made by a top designer or not, they still resemble something you would have to wear in primary school if you forgot your P.E kit that made you rank lower than the girl with nits. Not cute.

4. Knee-high converse

You know in Harry Potter when Ron is throwing up slugs? The same thing literally happens to me when I see somebody wearing these.

5. Short shorts on men

If you know somebody who's Twitter bio is "Magaluf - 2012" then you probably also know a boy who owns a pair of these. There's something about the upper part of a mans leg on show that makes them seem extremely feminine and it's a complete juxtaposition to the boys who are usually the culprits in sporting them. Muscular, ice-gem haircut... feminine? It just doesn't add up, "lads".

If you can think of any items of clothing that make you feel more uncomfortable than when watching Nicki Minaj's new music video, leave them below! As my mum would say,

Ta, ta!