Things that *^($£(%!'ed me off this month

Hey baby cakes, I've decided to do a little (probably not little) segment on this blog about things that have wound me up in the past month.... every month. Think of it as a male period. Although most of it is completely irrelevant to fashion I thought I would go ahead and do it anyway.

1. People who think that others aren't 'fashionable' because they aren't up to date with the latest trends.

At the end of the day, everyone is entitled to wear whatever they want and shouldn't be put down because they don't have the money to buy whatever latest trends are in, for example, Topshop.
Fashion is completely versatile. Some follow trends, others create them. If you think that you're a die hard fashionista because you wore scrunchies or chokers or jelly shoes before everyone else, then really you're a goon. Think of it like music, if you heard somebody say "I liked *insert band here* before everyone else" then you would think they were a tit. If you disagree, you probably are the tit. So don't do it with fashion.

2. Josie Cunningham

If you're unsure of who this fat mess is, a quick Google search will boil your blood in no time. Here is a photo of the fat mess and other than being the biggest fame-whore alive, below are some bullet-points on why I think that she deserves to be shot in to space.

• Got her breasts paid for by the tax payer (NHS) that cost close to £5,000 because she had 'severe depression', then publicly posted the photo above. 

• Threatened to abort her baby if she didn't get accepted on to Big Brother.

• Failed at selling a video of her birth to Poundland.

• Sold four 'front row seat' tickets to her birth each for £10,000

• Cancelled the tickets. Do I smell a publicity stunt?

• Wears that horrible pink lipstick. This aint 2005 hun lol!

4. Depop Swappers

If you don't know what Depop is, it is a mobile app similar to Ebay filled mostly with girls around the age of 13. It is a really good app, however the majority of buyers and sellers on there are unapologetically thick as shit. If you're going to create a Depop account, be warned that you could be asked to swap your, for example, brand new Chanel bag. When you ask said person what they would like to swap it for, they'll reply "Look on my page, hun X". After 4.2 seconds on their page you can quickly realise that the only things they sell are half-used eye-shadow palettes or tatty Primark vests. No hun, I don't want to swap X.

5. Channel 4 Documentary Titles

Now this one really pisses me off. You have probably heard it several times from people like White Dee of 'Benefit Street' who was told during filming that the documentary was going to be about community spirit. Channel 4, instead, obviously duped the lot of them and were really filming for a documentary called 'Benefit Street' portraying them all in a negative light. A similar time was when model Danica Thrall of 'Sex, Lies and Rinsing Guys' was told she was going to be starring in a documentary about empowering, self-employed women. She was completely screwed over when she watched the documentary which really portrayed them as scroungers. It's completely ridiculous and should be illegal.

6. Helen Wood winning Big Brother

Yes, she was funny. Yes, at times she did make me laugh. She was however an undisputed bully. She often isolated other housemates completely with her gang that sucked up to her in fear. It's even been rumoured that it was a fix and that her pass to the final was all thanks to her agent (who works for Channel 5) who got her the position unfairly on the show, anyway. She would name-call, intimidate, and get in the face of others who stood up to her. She was warned several times, many more times than I have seen any previous housemates warned, but no action was taken. It was said by viewers that she had a change in heart, but what she really had done was just stop showing that she was a bitch and as usual with the British public they had seem to forgotten within about a week. 

7. Couples who wear matching tops

Says it all really.

8. Couples who upload photos in bed with their tops off and hair looking a mess on Facebook.

We know what you've been up to... tramps.

9. 'Equal opportunities' sections on job applications.

You know the part of the job applications that ask you of your race, sexuality, religion? If it really was about equal opportunities then why the hell do they need to ask in the first place? So that they can add it to their files and brag about it to their superiors? "Yes, Mr. Gibson. We have 78 gay people working here. We don't discriminate!" I find it completely ridiculous.

10. Made in Chelsea

Although I am a fan of Made in Chelsea (mostly because of Lucy), I would honestly estimate that 60% of the show is the characters just staring at one another. It gets a bit ridiculous when a reality show is glaringly obvious that it's completely set up and the only thing 'real' about it is their names.

11. College fashion projects

I've never studied fashion in college, but if I did I sure as hell would be pulling my hair out. Is it just me or is every project about making some sort of 'recyclable' garment? Who would honestly wear a dress out of paper, and who would ever need to know how to do such a thing? Nobody. Just teach the god-damned students what they're there for, which is how to make normal clothes. It would probably be more beneficial and less time-wasting to learn via YouTube.
UPDATE: I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT MY FRIEND IS DOING FASHION NEXT YEAR AND HAS TO MAKE A DRESS OUT OF GRASS. YOU HEARD ME CORRECT, GRASS.

12. Celebrity magazine adverts

FIND OUT HOW KATIE PRICE PUT ON 4 POUNDS! I'm sorry, ladies, but if you are seriously one of those girls who are interested in reading a story like this, sort your fucking life out. Other than that, it's just all a load of bollocks. Is Peter Andre's manager paying these magazine editors so that he can continue being 'relevant'? Or is there seriously people out there who are interested in this talentless buffoon? The foundations of his 'celebrity' lifestyle is that he had a hit song when he was a teen and then had a terrible relationship all in the public eye. Wow. Inspirational. Joe Swash, too. What has he got to offer other than his annoying voice?

13. Being on the end of a group photo

Now I'm sure we've all been there. "Group photo!" yells the vain friend. It isn't the being-on-the-end that I dislike, it's when you think you aren't fully in the shot so you lean in as much as possible only to find out when looking at it that your whole sloth-like diagonal body is completely in the photo and you look so desperate to be a part of it. CRINGE!

14. Flatcaps/Snapbacks worn forward

Even though it's the 'correct' way to wear them, only black people can pull them off. Otherwise, you end up looking like the fat boy from Up!

Stop.