Hello beauty queens of only *imagine that your age is here*, today I'm going to be giving you some super fantastically uber hip tips and tricks on how to get whiter teeth. Now, obviously there are alternative ways like using teeth whitening trips or having your teeth whitened at a cost - I will move on to these in a little white. So hop on to my magic carpet and enjoy the ride bbes.
1. Brush your god-damned teeth you ming-mongs!
You might think that it goes without saying but I'm sure there are at least two or three people that you may be skeptical of whether or not they give there teeth a good scrubbing. If you think you may know somebody who isn't brushing their teeth, I think the best way around it would be to call them out on a Facebook status.
Totes kidding, don't do that xo
2. Celery!
Foods such as celery, apples, pears and carrots have been proven to create more saliva in your mouth (gurt lush) which helps to neutralize the acid that causes tooth decay. Next time your on a night out, find a boy who is sure to give you a "washing-machine" snog. The more saliva, the better! And if you think that's strange...
3. Stop smoking!
If only it was that easy...
4. Drink coffee and tea through a straw!
Anything that can stain a white t-shirt will most likely stain your teeth. That includes Coke (and other dark fizzy drinks), cranberry juice, grape juice and wine! Stains become more noticeable as we get older, so get to Asda right now and buy some straws before it's too late! If you're afraid of getting attacked by the paparazzi like I am, forget Asda. Just rinse your teeth with water after you've drank any of these deadly sins.
5. Foods that whiten your teeth naturally!
Aside from your celery-saliva-mouth-baths, there are some foods that naturally clean your teeth.
- Pineapple is the only food that naturally contains bromelain - a compound with anti-inflammatory and cleansing properties (big words, ew lol).
- Raw broccoli has iron which provides a wall of protection for your teeth against enamel-degrading acid that's produced by bacteria!
- The lactic acid in cheese is also protective against tooth decay. Get to it Baby!bel HAHAHAHAHHA GET IT?!?!?!?!?!
6. Drink water!
Drinking water pretty much helps everything other than finding a TV remote (trust me I've tried!)... (that was a lie).
Now that I have given you some fabulasticationalistatedalistic tips on how to get white teeth, here and some ways on how to avoid getting teeth yellower than a homeless person's toenail. Just to keep you in the loop, I just Google'd 'homeless persons toenail' and for your mental health and stability, I will not be posting said photo's. Your welcome.
1. Stop eating sugary sweets!
Not only do they contain copious amounts of sugar, but they stay in your mouth longer than regular food causing them to stain. So put down the Haribo's and pick up the celery my friends!
2. Brightly coloured sauces and curries!
Brightly coloured sauces such as curries attach to porous dental enamel so you don't want to leave them on your teeth for too long. However, if you're planning on having a salad as a starter or steamed vegetables like Cauliflower and Broccoli, they should do a good job on protecting your teeth.
3. Say no to drugs! and condiments.
Although most table-sauces such as Brown Sauce are loaded with sugar that is damaging for your teeth, Soy Sauce, Balsamic Vinegar and Tommy K are the biggest culprits when it comes to teeth staining. Personally for me, Tomato ketchup is almost avoidable. I love that shit. So just remember to rinse your mouth out with water after your done eating.
ALTERNATIVELY (which seems to be my new favourite word for this blog), there are other, less limiting ways of getting white teeth. A quick post on Buy, Sell and Swap and you can find lots of beauticians who can whiten your teeth for around £50. Simples! You can also go at it another way if you'd like, with teeth-whitening strips which you can pick up from places like SuperDrug, Tesco and Boots for a fraction of the price. Amazon and Ebay also.
I also heard subscribing and telling all your friends and uncles and pets about this blog instantaneously whitens your teeth too? :S
Songs you should definitely now go and listen to:
Lido & Muri x Lost
Drake x Poundcake
AlunaGeorge (Wilfred Giroux Remix) x Diver
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